Mary Long is a hypocrite
She does all-the-things that she tells us not to do
Selling filth from a corner shop
And knitting patterns to-the high street queue
She paints roses, even makes ‘em smell good
And then draws titties on the khazy wall
Drowns kittens just to get a thrill writes
sermons in the Sunday Chronicle
How did you lose your virginity, Mary Long ?
When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ?
Mary told Johnny not to write such trash
… Said it was a waste of public money
She-made a fuss, they-made apologi-ies
But everybody thought the show was funny
When the nation (k)new you'd had children-e-en
It came as such a surprise
We really didn't know you'd had it in-you how-you
did it we can o-only surmise
How did you lose your virginity, Mary Long ?
When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ?
Mary Long, you're not-alone
But you're a long way behi-ind our-ti-imes
What we do in-full frontal view Is more honest
than your cle-e-ean-up mind
What I'm saying, Mary Lo-o-ong is
When-a you can spare a minute Ah
Go find your friend the porny Lord
Dig your-self a hole and jump in-it
How did you lose your virginity, Mary Long ?
When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ?
How did you lose your virginity, Mary Long ?
When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ?
