Well, it’s like the prostitute once said: it’s not the work, it’s the stares.
The Costumes: The costume department on "Showgirls" had me wear one diamond earring and one pearl earring, and I do not know why. But I figured I played a ditz one night; she got drunk and mixed them up. Later on in the run, I was told to wear my diamond earring on my downstage ear.
The Scenery,The cameras started rolling while filming "Showgirls" on the CBS soundstage. No laughs—very strange. The stage manager joked, “The curtain was up, the asbestos was down.”
The Makeup I hate it; I need it.
The Props, one night, the prop man for "Showgirls" forgot to set up a revolver in a scene where a lady kills her husband. And on cue, no revolver. The lady grabs a fistful of nothing where the revolver was supposed to be, and on cue, she grabs her shoe and says, “I’m going to kill you!” with this—a Jimmy Choo. That’s a great actor, but a lousy prop man.
The Audience, the audience lifts you when you’re down—not in London, not in Paris, not at the Coconut Grove, not at the Bonanza in Toronto, which burned down two weeks after I played a set there, not in the west end production of "Babes on Broadway," not when my mic cut off mid-song during my concert in '66, not in Detroit, and definitely not when I released my fourth studio album "Shhhh"—to mention just a few.
The Headaches, The Heartaches the backaches, the flops—been there, done that, drank the whole time.
The Sheriff who escorts you out of town? Well, not out of town, but out of a variety club in New York, at 5 a.m. Well...
The Opening when your heart beats like a drum, I’ll drink to that, and I did.
The Closing when the customers won’t come—shit.
There's no business like show business,
Like no business I know.
Everything about it is appealing,
Everything the traffic will allow.
Nowhere could you get that happy feeling,
When you are stealing
That extra bow.
There's no people like show people,
They smile when they are low.
Even with a turkey that you know will fold,
You may be stranded out in the cold.
But still, you wouldn't change it for a sack of gold.
Ha ha ha ha ha, try me.
Yesterday they told you you would not go far;
That night you open, and there you are.
Next day on your dressing room, they've hung a star.
There’s good news and there’s bad news—I have got a sensational acceptance speech for a Tony; the bad news is I can’t sing.
Let’s go on with the—
A 1, 2, 3, 4—let’s get on with the
Do-be-do-be-do, on with the show. Why not?
